Appreciate Who You Are Now - Change Is Coming

As I was pulling out of my driveway and headed to Florida for a summer internship, I didn't really think that my life was about to drastically change. With my belongings packed, I waved goodbye and left. I never thought that would be my last time living at that house, permanently. Nor did I think I was leaving behind who I was... permanently. 

Photo: Me and my little sister

The Unexpected

Upon leaving this summer, the original plan was to go to Florida for a summer internship, work my butt off, really figure out what I wanted to do with my life, come home, and then go to school in the fall. But, life happened. The internship and the summer part went as expected. It was the not-returning-home part that wasn't expected. Hell, I don't even know when I am going to see my family next most of the time anymore. It was a big decision. A very hard decision nonetheless because I had this idea in my head of how my life was going to be for the next six months. I absolutely had to make a choice (due to many reasons I won't get into.) It was most certainly the RIGHT decision. I had to do what I had to do in order to make things work. I am amazed at how quickly my life is changing, how I am rising up in the media industry, in my career, in other jobs, and so much more! Not to mention, my opinions on SO MUCH have changed. It's so strange to think that only 4 months ago I was the nervous college student going off on an internship, and now I'm the confident (still technically a college student), woman who has her grabbed her career by the horns and is taking off. My life is changing every second and I'm very excited about that! Then, I reflected on who I was just 4 short months ago.

photo: An interview I had with Jake Miller

Miss Who You Were

I've started to miss who I was. Not because I was a better person or anything or liked my life more. But, because times were just different. I worried about different things, I thought different thoughts, my priorities were different, and even my friends were different. I realized that I will never again be the same way that I was right then at that moment. I literally feel like I have aged 5 years in 4 months. The person you are  RIGHT NOW is going to be a different person than you will be in a few months. I can almost guarantee it. Will you even have the same interests? Friends? Opinions?  I didn't really get the time I wanted to enjoy who I was because I thought I would move back after the internship and I would go about life the way I had planned. I "expected" my life to change. But how QUICKLY it changed, how MUCH it changed and the WAY it changed is a different story. I am happy with who I am right now. Very happy. But, I miss who I was, too. I wish I would have appreciated who I was at the moment it was happening. However, I didn't think that things were going to happen this way.

These Are The Good Days

So many times I look back at old photos and think "Those were the good days. I wish I knew that at the time." Well, now is your time to realize it. These are the good days, too. 

As you are reading these words, take a moment to appreciate who you are right now. Who are you friends with? What are your opinions on religion and politics? What is your favorite color? In a few months, maybe even weeks, perhaps even tomorrow... you could think differently. You will never be exactly the same person as the person you are at this moment. It's sort of an overwhelming thought, I know. Appreciate who you are right now, even if you don't necessarily "love" everything about your life or your circumstances. Because one day you will realize that it was all worth while, and you might just wish you had appreciated it more when it was happening. 

Sometimes, you will find yourself in a season of change. You might not even know it's coming, either. I mean heck. I planned on moving back to Michigan and carrying out my plans. But, that's not what happened. I live across the country now, you know? Sometimes I still can't believe it.... change arrives so fast sometimes that you don't even know it's happening until you're staring at yourself in the face and you're unrecognizable. Not in a bad way. In a good way. Appreciate each day as it happens, because life can change in the blink of an eye. These are the good days. 

Why You Need To Make The Most Out Of Your Free-time

What will you do with the time you have left over?
Because honestly, there might not be much time.

This is crazy that I stumbled across this video,really. Well, not really because there are millions of views. But, you get the gyst. I truly was thinking about this today though. The thought "How can I live my life to the fullest?" "How will I spend my free time?"

Probably more than I should, I think about my mortality. I am going to DIE, and I can't do anything about it. Everyone I know and love, including my pets are going to die. It will happen whether I like it or not. So what makes this video even more powerful is the fact that they disect each part of our lives and show our alloted free time, assuming we are going to live however many years. In reality, we don't really know how long we have to live. I could get in a car accident today and die. I could trip going up the stairs tomorrow and die. I could literally just be going about my day and die for what seems like no reason. I could be walking down the street and get hit by a car. Stupid shit. You know? This video got me thinking, how the heck can I make the most of my free time.

It sucks, sorta. That my life seems to be consumed by work or school. And when I finally get home, all I want to do is sleep. But, this video put some things into perspective for me. Free time. Precious, precious free time. Who should I be spending it with? Where am I spending it? And what can I do to make it... better?

Why It's Okay To Be Not-So-Strong Sometimes

Ever since my mom passed away, I have always been told to "be strong". "Be strong for your family, Jessica" "Be strong for your sister" "Be strong for your friends." And I take on that role with pride. I am strong for my family. I am strong in who I am and what I want to accomplish. But no matter how strong I am,  more bad things seem to keep happening. I'm told all of the same things "Just be strong, Jessica. It will pass!" You can make it, Jess! Stay strong!"...  Is it okay for me to ever not be strong? When so much seems to keep happening and happening....am I EVER allowed to take a moment just to relax and think... I am hurting?

"Be strong" such an easy thing to say, but such a hard thing to do when you're feeling broken. 

I feel like many people feel the same way I do. Maybe our situations are completely different. But, I know there are people out there who have been strong for so long that they feel like they don't have a whole lot left. The hardest part about always being the "strong one" is that nobody ever expects to see you weak. Let me guess. You feel guilty if you ever start to cry. If people ask you if anything is wrong you brush it off and say no.You act like superman or super woman because you think I CAN DO THIS. When really, you know you need somebody to be strong for you. But, even if somebody is "strong for you" , you know they don't quite understand. You know they don't understand everything you have been through, so you struggle to listen to the advice they give. So really, you end up just feeling lonely.

So the question remains: am I allowed to not be strong? Even if for a moment? I am going to say yes.

My personal biggest problem is that I bottle up all of my own emotions. I won't tell anybody anything is wrong because I don't like people feeling bad for me. Nor do I like feeling weak. But, what I am starting to realize, is that it IS okay to let your emotions out once in a while. When you have people who ask you if something is wrong, and you know you can trust them.... you should probably tell them what is up. "But people don't understand." This, I get. No, people DON'T understand 100%. Believe it or not, we are all completely different beings that think completely different thoughts with completely different life experiences. It's just how it works!!! You will NEVER find a person that has had the exact same life experience as you. EVER. So if somebody at all offers to talk to you, you should probably just talk to them. It's better to talk to somebody that can relate a little bit than talking to nobody at all. It's good for you. I know, it  really does suck that  nobody will 100% get it. But, you can find some very similar stories. If you can settle for honey-nut toasted oats at the grocery store instead of honey-nut cheerios, you will be just fine. 

  

 DO NOT fear telling a person what is wrong because you are scared it's "trivial". Those problems are just as valid. Everybody has their own level of how much they can handle. Your friend's bad test grade might carry just as much weight to them as your break-up carried for you. It's not about the problems. It's about what a person is capable to deal with.  Contrary to popular belief, and even occasionally my OWN beliefs... crying or venting to somebody isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign you're human. We all hurt once in a while. Even Super Mario needs to go back and get a 1up.

Don't let a situation that is out of your control, control you. I know. Easier said than done. A lot of the things that upset us have to deal with things we couldn't prevent even if we tried. For example, the things that are going on in my life right now are WAY out of my control. I  am not ignoring the situation. However, I AM keeping it in the back of my mind to motivate myself to be successful even more. The situation might be out of my hands, but MY LIFE is in my OWN hands. And I will determine what I make of this. As I said before, you can still feel sorta bad about the situation without letting it control you. It's okay to be upset about those things! Life is 10% what happens to us and 90%  how we deal with it.

Something else will probably happen. What stinks about life is that sometimes it seems like when we're FINALLY done with one crappy thing, another crappy thing happens. It gets exhausting. And sometimes you want to give up. But it's not the end of the world! You're still alive. You're still living. You still have things to smile about,  people to live for and things to experience. Being strong is easier said than done. From the outside looking in, it seems like a great plan. Actually, it IS a great plan. Being strong was the BEST decision I have ever made. It is not easy. And it won't BE easy. And maybe you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel yet. Sometimes I can't either. But, just because we can't see it, doesn't mean it's not there.  Keep working hard, stay strong, and  remember, it's okay to slip up once in a while. Being strong doesn't mean not being human. You are the strong one, remember? We have come this far, but we can cut ourselves a break!

After all, we've earned it. 

We all need saving sometimes. 

The Problem With Social Media

The Problem With Social Media

Everyday, I find myself going onto social media like Facebook or Instagram and seeing a plethora of things. A majority of those things are the GOOD things that are happening to people. Which is AWESOME... in a sense. “Just got a new job!” “Officially studying abroad in Germany!” “ Just got accepted to…” All GREAT things. Now, I am very happy for these people, don’t get me wrong.  Those are awesome things!  But suddenly, a part of me feels inadequate. I think, "man, everybody else's lives are so perfect. They are accomplishing so much. They are going out there and really getting things done! They all seem to know exactly what they are doing and life is just PEACHY. " That’s when I realize... I couldn’t be more incorrect.

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We HAVE to stop comparing our REAL lives to other people’s lives on social media. Come to think of it,  from a social media standpoint, my life must look fricken great. Yes, I posted the last few concerts I have been to and the celebrities I have met. Yes, I have posted beautiful Florida sunrises and my days spent at the beach. Yes, from social media… my life must look practically perfect and problem free.  Funny, because it’s far from it. I’m not going to post about financial difficulties, or family problems. I’m not going to post about the trials, hardships, and the shitstorms that seem to keep knocking me down. Sometimes, even on the worst days of my life, I find myself posting about how great my day is. It’s the strangest thing. And if I do these things… surely other people do too. I know I can’t be the only one who does this.

I often would find myself even putting down the biggest of accomplishments that I’ve made because I compare myself to other people’s lives on social media. “I might have done this awesome thing but man, what Lisa did is SO much better." I’m not so sure why I do this because this is so far from the truth. What your friend did IS awesome, but are you forgetting how awesome the thing was that you did too? An accomplishment is an accomplishment no matter how small. On social media, people might even make their accomplishments out to be something REALLY EXTRAVAGANT AND OVER EXAGGERATED, so don’t feel bad just because you don’t over exaggerate. You are still going out there and getting what you want! You just don’t broadcast it. And if you did, people might be comparing THEIR real lives to your SOCIAL MEDIA life, too.

If everyone posted all the stuff that was actually going on in our lives, the Internet would be a very sad place. We would probably see a lot of divorce, broken homes, financial problems, broken hearts, and so much more. We post the positive because that is how we want others to perceive our lives. As I said, I am in no way saying this is a bad thing because I do it too. But, for this reason ,we cannot compare our lives on social media to the lives of others on social media.  We ALL have a lot of things we are covering up. Remember that your accomplishments are great. And just because somebody doesn’t post about the hard times they are going through, doesn’t mean that their life is perfect either. You know that girl who you follow on Instagram that is super pretty and her life seems perfect? Her grandma just died. Or that guy who wears suits every day and seems to have his crap together? His girlfriend just dumped him and he just lost hundreds in the stock market. Is this making sense? 

Your accomplishments are just as big as other people's,  you're probably going through just as much bullcrap, and just because you don't overexaggerate your greatness, doesn't mean you are not great!

Stop comparing yourself to others on social media. You’re just going to feel depressed for no reason.

Because you, my dear, are awesome. :)