Ever since my mom passed away, I have always been told to "be strong". "Be strong for your family, Jessica" "Be strong for your sister" "Be strong for your friends." And I take on that role with pride. I am strong for my family. I am strong in who I am and what I want to accomplish. But no matter how strong I am, more bad things seem to keep happening. I'm told all of the same things "Just be strong, Jessica. It will pass!" You can make it, Jess! Stay strong!"... Is it okay for me to ever not be strong? When so much seems to keep happening and happening....am I EVER allowed to take a moment just to relax and think... I am hurting?
"Be strong" such an easy thing to say, but such a hard thing to do when you're feeling broken.
I feel like many people feel the same way I do. Maybe our situations are completely different. But, I know there are people out there who have been strong for so long that they feel like they don't have a whole lot left. The hardest part about always being the "strong one" is that nobody ever expects to see you weak. Let me guess. You feel guilty if you ever start to cry. If people ask you if anything is wrong you brush it off and say no.You act like superman or super woman because you think I CAN DO THIS. When really, you know you need somebody to be strong for you. But, even if somebody is "strong for you" , you know they don't quite understand. You know they don't understand everything you have been through, so you struggle to listen to the advice they give. So really, you end up just feeling lonely.
So the question remains: am I allowed to not be strong? Even if for a moment? I am going to say yes.
My personal biggest problem is that I bottle up all of my own emotions. I won't tell anybody anything is wrong because I don't like people feeling bad for me. Nor do I like feeling weak. But, what I am starting to realize, is that it IS okay to let your emotions out once in a while. When you have people who ask you if something is wrong, and you know you can trust them.... you should probably tell them what is up. "But people don't understand." This, I get. No, people DON'T understand 100%. Believe it or not, we are all completely different beings that think completely different thoughts with completely different life experiences. It's just how it works!!! You will NEVER find a person that has had the exact same life experience as you. EVER. So if somebody at all offers to talk to you, you should probably just talk to them. It's better to talk to somebody that can relate a little bit than talking to nobody at all. It's good for you. I know, it really does suck that nobody will 100% get it. But, you can find some very similar stories. If you can settle for honey-nut toasted oats at the grocery store instead of honey-nut cheerios, you will be just fine.
My personal biggest problem is that I bottle up all of my own emotions. I won't tell anybody anything is wrong because I don't like people feeling bad for me. Nor do I like feeling weak. But, what I am starting to realize, is that it IS okay to let your emotions out once in a while. When you have people who ask you if something is wrong, and you know you can trust them.... you should probably tell them what is up. "But people don't understand." This, I get. No, people DON'T understand 100%. Believe it or not, we are all completely different beings that think completely different thoughts with completely different life experiences. It's just how it works!!! You will NEVER find a person that has had the exact same life experience as you. EVER. So if somebody at all offers to talk to you, you should probably just talk to them. It's better to talk to somebody that can relate a little bit than talking to nobody at all. It's good for you. I know, it really does suck that nobody will 100% get it. But, you can find some very similar stories. If you can settle for honey-nut toasted oats at the grocery store instead of honey-nut cheerios, you will be just fine.
DO NOT fear telling a person what is wrong because you are scared it's "trivial". Those problems are just as valid. Everybody has their own level of how much they can handle. Your friend's bad test grade might carry just as much weight to them as your break-up carried for you. It's not about the problems. It's about what a person is capable to deal with. Contrary to popular belief, and even occasionally my OWN beliefs... crying or venting to somebody isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign you're human. We all hurt once in a while. Even Super Mario needs to go back and get a 1up.
Don't let a situation that is out of your control, control you. I know. Easier said than done. A lot of the things that upset us have to deal with things we couldn't prevent even if we tried. For example, the things that are going on in my life right now are WAY out of my control. I am not ignoring the situation. However, I AM keeping it in the back of my mind to motivate myself to be successful even more. The situation might be out of my hands, but MY LIFE is in my OWN hands. And I will determine what I make of this. As I said before, you can still feel sorta bad about the situation without letting it control you. It's okay to be upset about those things! Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we deal with it.
Something else will probably happen. What stinks about life is that sometimes it seems like when we're FINALLY done with one crappy thing, another crappy thing happens. It gets exhausting. And sometimes you want to give up. But it's not the end of the world! You're still alive. You're still living. You still have things to smile about, people to live for and things to experience. Being strong is easier said than done. From the outside looking in, it seems like a great plan. Actually, it IS a great plan. Being strong was the BEST decision I have ever made. It is not easy. And it won't BE easy. And maybe you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel yet. Sometimes I can't either. But, just because we can't see it, doesn't mean it's not there. Keep working hard, stay strong, and remember, it's okay to slip up once in a while. Being strong doesn't mean not being human. You are the strong one, remember? We have come this far, but we can cut ourselves a break!
After all, we've earned it.
No comments:
Post a Comment